Not All’s Fair for Au Pairs!
Filomenita Mongaya
Filomenita Mongaya
In the last decade alone, Philippine au pairs have gone to Denmark in droves. Out of 2,000 in 2007, 62 % or a total of 1,249 were Filipinos.
Dulce, a 25-year old Filipina, was just beginning to enjoy the sweet life in Copenhagen, not exactly the most cosmopolitan city in northern Europe, but a cozy urban place nonetheless, popular with tourists. She was, for months, an au pair for a young family in the northern suburb of Espergaerde. When she was off work, Dulce would meet up with her friends, usually from her home province of Bohol, for karaoke nights or for church on Sundays. Her family back home in Tagbilaran was quite pleased that she could send money home out of her meager allowance.
Banning Au Pairs
The story of Dulce is an example of the No Man’s Land that Filipino au pairs risk landing into if they encounter problems during their stay in Denmark. When Filipinos go abroad to become au pairs, they are actually entering unchartered territory without their realizing it. They are welcomed in Denmark and other European countries where young families with small children and hectic careers make use of their labor. But the Philippine government doesn’t want them to leave the country as au pairs.
To the many documented instances of abuse and exploitation of Filipino au pairs abroad, the Philippine government’s response was to impose a ban on travelling as an au pair. This ban can be seen in two ways: as a means by the Philippine state to protect its citizens, and as a kneejerk reaction to the criticism of the way the Philippine government protects its citizens’ rights as workers in other countries. Evil tongues would say, au pairs earn and remit too little money anyway so they might as well stay home.
This ban, however, isn’t honored or respected by official instances in Europe. The Danish state, for example, continues to release visas or permits-to-stay to Filipino au pairs, even as it refuses to go into bilateral agreements with the Philippine government. Some recruitment agencies circumvent the ban by arranging for Filipino au pairs to get their Danish visas in other countries, such as Singapore.
The ones who suffer the most [from this ban] are the thousands of young Filipinos who travel to Europe and, when some problem arises, realize that they are on their own. This [lack of government support] is apparent even as they depart from Manila. At the airport, it is said that first-time travelers have to pay an “escort fee” (at least P20,000) to some officials, who use the travel ban as an excuse to extort and exploit the hapless au pairs who might have already paid hundreds of thousands of pesos to their equally rapacious recruiters.
Linda (not her real name), an ex-au pair who is now happily married and is the mother of an infant, confided to me that she was so relieved to have finally paid off the P250,000 debt she incurred from a cousin of hers who “found” her an au pair family in Denmark. Had Linda just depended on her monthly allowance of 2,500 Danish kroner, it would have taken her ten months to pay this illegal and exorbitant fee. But because she dared to work illegally beyond her official hours, she was able to pay off her “debt” in six months. Linda no longer speaks to her cousin but she’ll never report her to the authorities.
The cases of Dulce and Linda underscore the effects of the lack of bilateral agreements between the Philippines and their host country, where the au pairs — mostly young women, but increasingly, young men, too — are actually without rights as workers.
In the last few months, I also became aware of the case of Maria (not her real name) whose permit was revoked when she became terminally ill with leukemia. It was actually the Aliens Directorate, now ironically calling itself Aliens Service, which insisted that she leave her employ as soon as possible, when her health situation was found to be grave. Maria, who has gone back to the Philippines, hasn’t gotten over how dispensable she, with her work skills, was. As soon as she was no longer considered an asset to the Danish family she was au pairing for, she was given her month’s pay, and not a cent more, then it was farvel og tak, goodbye and thanks!
Courage against exploitation
Filipinos are regularly covered in Danish media, with stories often about the abuse or exploitation of an au pair. With their hourly pay of $1.25, which Danes consider slave wages, and reports of au pairs having to work up to 100 hours per week when the prescribed maximum is 30 hours — these are the stuff that media dish up and readers gobble up! On TV, we have seen so-called host families threatening au pairs on air because they have bravely come out and confronted their hosts about unpaid extra working hours, such as cleaning the homes of their hosts’ friends and associates, which is against the law. We’ve also read in the daily papers about the well-meaning wives of top business people, directors and CEOs in the so-called “whisky belt” north of Copenhagen (meaning the upper-crust Danes) who lend each other their au pairs so they have uniformed serving ladies during big business dinners. Without the protection of the Philippine government, the Danish government can actually deport the au pairs who bravely go public about their abuse and exploitation, although now they are given one month to find another host family. Failing that, the police will escort them to Kastrup airport. The brave au pairs have to fight on many fronts. As they face the wrath of their host families, they also risk being marginalized by their own kind. The Filipinos in Denmark generally look at au pairs as those who “disturb” the tranquil picture of Filipinos who have nice jobs and stable marriages, and who don’t want to be in the public eye. After yet another story of an abused au pair hit the headlines, one established Filipina commented, “Now, we all risk being seen as imported unskilled labor,” (meaning au pairs, or worse, as mail order brides.)
New Possibilities
The realities of the Danish labor market provide an opportunity to change both the image of Filipinos in Denmark, and of the au pair system.
Denmark’s labor market is screaming for more bodies in the workforce, so why not integrate into the market these intelligent, hard-working and, in many cases, very highly educated young men and women, who just need an investment in language and a few other qualifying courses?
When their visas expire, many Filipino au pairs move from Denmark to another country, such as Norway, where the au pair allowance is higher and the stay is up to two years.
More and more young parents in Denmark recognize that they need a helping hand with the household chores if they are to combine family life and career. In order to accommodate their needs and the young Filipino au pair’s needs as well, perhaps it’s time to revise the old “young girl in the house” model (a kind of domestic help of a lighter variety but with a proper pay for the hours worked). In which case, the payment of 6.50 kroner (equivalent to $1.25 an hour, when the market rate is 100 kroner or $20 an hour) has to be changed, as it is a black mark on Denmark’s and Europe’s reputation, because they are being looked at as a country and a continent that profits from exploiting young men and women from developing countries.
Filipino au pairs are now definitely part of the suburban landscape of Denmark. On the street where I live, there are three of them. I just said goodbye to Ramos, also from Tagbilaran, whose 18-month stay couldn’t be extended, to the disappointment of his host family who were very pleased with him. On his last day, he gave them a treat by cooking lumpia. When I asked him about his plans, Ramos said he was definitely going back to school to finish his nursing degree. His girlfriend, Flores, also an au pair, is finishing her term in a few months. Her older sister has successfully transitioned to a job with an international nonprofit in the Danish capital. Other au pairs have set their sights on further education and some have been successful in getting jobs in their real professions, as nurses, accountants, and information technology, among others.
roy villa says:
Filipino Au Pairs
Fil Au Pairs? Another numenclature for Fil domestics except that it legalizes
rock bottom wages. Sad but a reality for Filipinos. We should accept this as a
reality and not deny it by refusing to be associated with our kababayans who are
thrust into the limelight though no fault of their own. About two years ago, a
Filipino was charged (& now convicted) for raping a mentally ill patient in an
IL nursing home. I was working then in a Chicago hospital as nurse aide.
Imagine the publicity that the news generated in an industry full of Filipinos.
We were discussing the news in hush hush tones. Did I acted similarly like
those well off Filipinas in Denmark? I don’t know.
E Soriano says:
I heard that young Filipina Au pairs in Denmark have been sexually exploited by Filipino Danish citizensh in exchange of a promise to marry them for permanent residence. Is that true?
If it is, is there any law in Denmark that could
penalise those dirty Filipino men?
lumen says:
Dear Roy,
I long watched your entry on filipina au pairs in europe but it is first now I have the time…
We have that in our cultural make-up to disown our own countrymen pag nagkaroon ng bad publicity.In the case of au pairs dito the most common is doing so-called black work -excuse me Pres.Obama for the colour slur- that is to say they want to make more extra money to send home.
I wish I were born later so I could have come to Europe and be an au pair as they have opporutnities to travel and know boaut other cultures and ways of life.
I am sure the phenomenon of being “abused” esp. when it comes to being asked to do more housework and babysitting was also felt in those days when Europeans lived as au pairs in each other’s country, that is across Europe, primarily to learn another language and to experience a different culture.. Today, university students have it almost as a written right that they spend a semester abroad in the course of their bachelor and esp. their masters program so they do not have to be au pairs anymore…the educ.system provides them the opportunity!
About us Filipinos in Europe, we have this network for empowerment of Pinays called Babaylan Europe and we certainly use some energies in helping au pairs in Europe with questions of legal rights,coping socially, making use of educational and cultural opportunities in short empowering the au pairs, who as few Filipinos might know, are banned form leaving the country by the Phil. government. As such, they are preyed upon by rapacious airport and immigration officials on departure.They get delayed if they cannot pay the so called “escort fee” of at least 20 000 Php. at predeparture. This is on top of the recruitment fee they might have also paid before they found their host family, maybe leading them to debts that have to be paid monthly from wherever they are in Europe. Yessir, the exploitation of Filipinos by Filipinos has been an eye opener for this writer. We are worst to our Kapwa Pinoys Im afraid even as many of us put ourselves out to help our countrymen esp. when we find ourselves abroad.
But there are also some of our ilk who prey on their kapwa kababaehan, yes right here in Copenhagen, tumutulong daw with an agency pero pag hindi mo sinusunod ang kanyang mga order, lagot ka. Lagot kang au pair ka, sisira-an ka nya doon sa host family mo para mafire ka or at least matakot. Kumukuha sya ng au pairs sa ibang lugar sa Asia para maiwasan ang govt. ban pero nangyayari tuloy na hindi au pair ang dating ng mga girls, domestics, which means tuhog sa ilong. Walang alam sa kanilang mga karapatan.
It is truly tragic na tayo mismong mga Pinoy uma-api sa kapwa. Right here in the capital of democratic Denmark…
matahari says:
Dear Mr. E. Soriano,
Sorry for the long wait -that is if nag-antay ka? This issue needs a bit of exposure…
This case that you refer to I have not heard about in the public debate in Denmark but posibleng nangyayari ito… pero ang mga au pairs have the right to leave their employ, Pinoy man or hindi but I imagine kung Pinoy, mas nakakainfluence sa thinking seguro dahil magkaparehong kultura. In other words, there is great potential for manipulation and exploitation by kapwa Pinoys of each other.
One can ask, anong ginagawa ng mga pare, madre at pastor/pastora na sa ngayon ay dumadami dito sa labas ng Pilipinas? Sometimes, they actually hinder the integration of Filipinos dahil puro simba, hindi naman bumbuti ang pagkatao. They sin, they confess and when Monday comes along, balik sa pagiging masama sa kapwa Pinoy….
Dito sa Copenhagen, ang mga kilos ng mga kapwa kong Pilipino/na ay to put it mildly: embarrasing. Wala na ngang profile at all, whether politically, socially, economically or culturally active. At kung ang organisasyon mo, medyo tumutulong sa kapwa, babarahin ka ng iba sa simpleng rason na ikaw ang kumilos at na conscienticised, hindi sila. Paano naman, hindi nila kayang maki-network maske Denmark lang and certainly not Europewide nor further away like internationally!
Kung ikaw Pinoy at may ambisyon ka magimbita ng cultural group from your Lupang Hinirang, halimbawa world class choirs from UP?? Ihanda mo ang sarili mo dahil hindi ka pa natapos mag-arrange ng kanilan itinerary, itsismis ka na kung magkano ang nakurakot mo! from I don’t know where?? since your biggest problem is how to finance their stay without money from the Phil. govt. You have to make magic or abuse your friends for their hospitality so makakain lang ang mga pobreng singers at choirs. Malakas ang imagination ng Pinoys sa CPH as to these things. Pero yong mga kumikita ng sakosakong pera dahil nagdala ng vacuous pop groups and/or leftist artists kuno, suportado ng madla. Ganon ka badoy dito!!!
I would like to look at the educational qualifications of FIlipinos here so I can find the explanation to their strange behaviour…they certainly agitate on the Envy Philosophy, also known as Crustacean Mentality. These types are more destructive than the occasional sexual pervert who get their due when reported to the authorities…
Perhaps it is just typical Filipino behaviour eveyrwhere. What is your reading where you are at? Can you share your experiences? Do you have au pairs where you are?
Emile says:
I’ve been told first hand that Filipino men in Denmark sexually exploit Pinay Au pairs. In fact the guy who told me that sad story himself bed young pinays and his friends are doing the same thing on preying on these desparate young women,in exchange for permanent residence in Denmark.
Filomenita says:
Dear Emile,
If you can dig up real names and real people, both victims and perpetrators, we in our network is ready to tackle this blight in our Filipino community in Denmark. Imagine your own countrymen preying on our hapless Filipinas, what could be more low and rapacious.
If oyu want to help us, we are willing to work to cut out this piece of cancer in our community.
We are ready when you are ready. Do not be afraid, our methods are soft. We will start by counselling and talking to b oth au pairs and their abusers. We want to mend and construct but only if people are willing to learn from their experience. In the case of those preying male Filipinos, they have to be accountable to their fellow hu-(woe)man beings and last but not least to God!
Do not waste time.
I urge others who may be reading this exchange to also report on other abuses done to Filipinas, even if they be by their so-called “amos” actually supposed to be their host families some of hwom may treat them like domestics but without paying them the real rates! IN Italy, Filipino domestic workers are much in demand but @ 1000 euros a month.
I myself believe in dignity of labour and work must transpire with respect and fair renumeration.
Sorry for straying in the topic but the bottom line is respect for the Filipina, whether from their countrymen who have a tendency to be sexual abusers or from some of the Danish fmailies who have a tendency to exploit the ever smiling au pairs.
I recommend two articles for you:
1)All not fair for aupairs in DK,
ABAKADASummer issue 2007; can be read or downloaded from http://www.babaylan.dk
2)For godt til at være sandt og Slaveriet er afskaffet, both in Fag og Arbejdet, trademagazine for the labour union FOA who formed an Au Pair network on the invitation of Babaylan Denmark in Spring 2007.
Dhod Almendros says:
nakalista po ba sa embasy ng denmark kung namatay
kung namatay po ang isang aupair may listahan po ba sa philippine embasy sa denmark na pwedeng malaman kung talagang patay na ang taong sinabing patay na kasi may friend po ako na namatay at inatake sa puso sa ole burr, kobenhavn denmark pano po ako makakasigurado na patay na ang taong ito baka po pwede nyo ako matulungan. tnx po.
ella says:
you know about sa kasalan na bayaran i dont think its legal here in europe siguro if a european did that its thier fault not fault of our kapwa filipina…it seems kawawa tayong mga pinay if nagbabayad tayo just for the sake we can stay sa country nila… but its just an opinion malay mo marami gumagawa niyan….